dazed and confused

to love someone is to allow yourself to be vulnerable to the deepest hurts…and the damnedest emotions and situations…again and again and again and again…then you begin to ask yourself "am i really happy?"…or wonder "am i with the right person?"…and even think that it’s really not meant to be………but then…….you see how you really look good together…how his hands fit yours perfectly…and how despite the worst times you have had, you still feel a sudden warmth recalling the best times…you suddenly forget all the hurts, disappointments and anxiety…and then your mind turns mush…logic walks out on you…and you almost throw everything to the wind…that’s the irony in loving…but i wouldn’t have it any other way.

it’s been quite a while since i have written my last blog. a lot has happened since then. i have a new job…and i must be happy to be employed in the country’s second biggest employer next to the government..i was at first but life has this way of playing jokes on you..when i started my first week in SMC, a lot of companies i have been eyeing for a long time contacted me..major depressing..but maybe this is God’s plan for me..He has never failed me ever.

recently, i have been missing a lot of people..papa, mama, my sisters..i have been away for my family for so long..and being alone most of the time for 6 years is taking its toll on me..serves me right for being ambitious and wanting a high-profile carreer rather than having a laid-back life in davao. hehe. i miss my j&j friends too. my college friends too. my davao besties too. haaayyy..buti nalang i have kathy here although we have petty fights and tampuhan most of the time..and i have carlo who is my shock-absorber and takes whatever shit i give him..talk about being luuuuucky. hihi. but i’m planning on going home soon but just to take a break from the hustle-bustle and pollution of metro manila..i just hope that those asian spirit planes are trustworthy..i do not wish to depart as an asian and land as a spirit..haha..corny joke..to my family and friends that i’m missing so much..i’ll be home soon..woohoo!

"one world peace to go please…" how i wish we could just order world peace in a joint somewhere. we badly need one..if not in the world at least in this country. i’m really getting tired of all the nonsense in the news lately about this "gloria-garci" wire-tapped conversation. enough is enough. ain’t it clear gma’s not stepping down?! and who would replace her? those equally corrupt and more power hungry opposition?!! and i’m getting tired and extremely irritated of all those rallies that only cause traffic.

i really do hope all this would die down for the sake of our country. cheesy as it may sound, but i do love this country. i’m one of those extinct individuals in this country who do not have the desire to pack their bags and migrate. i just wish all these bull would end soon.

Since maganda ang gising ko today, i will post some pinoy acronyms that I came across sa net..sobrang hilarious..promise. hehehe. =)

Pinoy Romantic Acronyms:

Di ba nakakatawa? hehehe..aminin niyo natawa kayo..ahehe..till next time pag may maisip ulit akong kalokohan. *wink wink* =p

i feel so lazzzy right now. i don’t feel like working. that’s the reason i’m writing this blog. i also feel dizzy. i have to go to the eye doctor. i might need to wear glasses already. crap. i hate..no..abhor the idea of wearing one..i don’t need to look nerdy on the outside because i really am one on the inside..i’m a closet nerd..geek..whatever. but it’s nice to look "kikay" on the outside because people tend to think you’re stupid and you get to surprise and disappoint them because they find out you’re intelligent and way smarter than them.

i have to start a new hobby or sport. yeah right. in my dreams. i don’t even know how to crosstitch or crochet or sew. i also don’t have a sport. does jackstone count? hehe. someday i’ll try surfing. maybe i’ll be good at it. i also don’t play any instrument. i know how to play the piano but it’s just not my thing. i’d rather curl up somewhere comfortable and read a book. i’m such a major nerd. but a rather pretty and lovable one. haha.

that’s enough self-deprecation for one day. maybe tomorrow i can think of more lewd things to say about myself.

growing up is never easy..i never thought life would get this complicated..how i wish i could go back to the uncomplicated times of my childhood years wherein my problems would only range from having the latest cartoon character bag, swatch watch or mastering the newest game craze.

when i was in grade school i could not wait to get to high school..when i was in high school i was anxious to go to college in manila and have my so-called "independence" from my parents (although i still rely on them for tuition fees, food, clothes, allowance, basically everything =P)..when i was in college, i could not wait to graduate and have a job and be totally independent..now, i have a job (but i am still dependent on my parents [they still pay for my flat..hehe]) and i am stuck..i have yet to make important decisions that would affect my life and my future..i thought growing up would mean having the answers to most questions but now i know better..it’s scary but i realized i’m not much wiser than i was 10 years back..save for having a degree in IE and for being more cynical..

confused..that’s the perfect word for me..wtf..i should be grateful i have choices unlike most people in this country..